147. How We {mostly} Stopped Arguing

In this week’s episode of the Crystal Paine Show, Jesse and I share some of the lessons we’ve learned in our almost 19 years of marriage on how fight less and communicate with more grace and depth.

We talk about practical strategies, personal development and growth, and how to approach difficult conversations that could potentially lead to conflict and misunderstanding.

We also share some family updates — especially about Baby D’s upcoming surgery — and then we talk about what we’ve been reading, a program Jesse has been doing to keep him accountable to health goals, a teeth whitening kit I’ve been loving, and more!

In This Episode

[00:34] – Today we’re talking about How We (mostly) Stopped Arguing

[02:45] – This is a big week for us as it’s Baby D’s big cleft palate surgery.

[09:06] – Jesse shares about what’s helping him stay more accountable to health goals.

[13:32] – There are seasons for really big audacious goals. And there are seasons for just, well those little nudge goals. So figuring out which season you are in and what’s going to be best for you.

[14:57] – A teeth whitening kit I’ve been loving!

[17:21] – We share about books we’ve been reading.

[19:44] – Let’s talk about how we’ve stopped arguing — most of the time!

[21:50] – The biggest thing that has helped us is changing our perspective of God and His love for us! Oftentimes, we can get frustrated with our spouse because we expect them to give us something that only God can give.

[23:55] – If you don’t believe you are fully loved by God, it’s hard to believe you are loved by others.

[25:28] – If you’ve pre-decided what your spouse, what your kids, what your co-workers, what your community, your friends, believe about you, you won’t be able to really hear what they are saying.

[26:24] – We come from very different perspectives and we process the world very differently. Learning to see this as a gift has helped our communication in a big way.

[30:57] – Changing the way we approach conflict, hurt, and misunderstandings makes such a difference in allowing our conversations to be productive versus full of tense and frustration.

[32:23] – I think another thing that’s been really, really helpful for us, is just prioritizing romance and fun. Don’t forget what drew you together in the first place.

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