166. Raising Teens: Answering your burning questions

I used to be afraid of having teenagers. The thought of raising kids into adulthood felt like such a huge and overwhelming responsibility. I worried I would totally mess things up, miss the mark, and make mistakes. But then Jesus radically transformed my heart. He opened up my eyes to how deeply I am loved by Him and helped me move from chasing after others’ approval to resting in His love — and it changed everything about the way I parent. I don’t have to parent out of fear of the future anymore; I can trust God with tomorrow and live faithfully today — knowing that I will make mistakes, but that’s why there’s Jesus. I don’t have to mother from a place of overwhelm anymore; I can look to God’s spirit Who is in me and ask for His help and strength when I don’t know what to do — and trust Him to help me lean in and love my kids, on the good days and on the hard days. My kids don’t need a mom who is perfect. They need a mom who points them to the only Perfect One — Jesus. Today, I truly love parenting teens — and they bring so much joy and depth and laughter into my life. I can embrace each day as a gift… not because I’ve got it all figured out, but because I can entrust my kids and their lives to the One Who has the whole world in His hands. Motherhood is still hard, but it is also holy and heartwarming and even super hilarious many days. It shines a light on my own need for Jesus like nothing else does… and it also allows me the opportunity to see Him be Enough like nothing else does. In this week’s episode of The Crystal Paine Show, Jesse and I sit down and answer your burning questions about raising teenagers. We share lessons we’ve learned, struggles we’ve had, challenges we’ve faced, and things we’ve learned the hard way — and what has helped us to build stronger relationships and better communication with our teens. 

In This Episode

[00:34] – Welcome to another episode of The Crystal Paine Show. [00:55] – You all have been asking for more teen-related content and submitted so many great questions! [04:01] – Q: How do you decide when to push your kids versus letting them fail? [07:22] – As much as possible, we try to say yes and we try to keep our no’s to a minimum. [10:48] – There is a fine line between helping and enabling. You don’t want to stand in the way of lessons that need to be learned. [11:57] – Q: At what age did they get a first job for real money, and how to help them do that? [14:23] – Encourage them as soon as they are able to withe gentle nudges. [19:49] – There were a lot of questions about technology and social media, see the show notes for previous podcast episodes. [20:47] – Q: How do you talk to your kids about the birds and the bees? [25:00] – Prepping them and giving them the tools on how to respond in an uncomfortable/awkward situation. [25:46] – Q: How do you deal with teens who don’t want to share with their dad? [26:45] – One of the best things that we did years ago was asking our kids flat out, “What do we do that makes you feel loved? And what do we do that makes you feel unloved?” [28:22] – Parents, pay attention to how much time we are correcting and how much time we are connecting. [31:10] – Be in their world and let them see that you care about them. [34:10]- Being truthful with them about our struggles, and asking for their forgiveness.

Links & Resources

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