266. Why We Encourage Our Kids to Wait to Date
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This week’s episode dives into a topic that many of you have asked about: how we’re approaching dating with our kids. Jesse and I previously shared our general dating guidelines, but as our teens have gotten older, we wanted to share more that we’ve learned as we have put those principles into practice in real-time.
I recently touched on our approach to dating on Instagram, and it sparked some lively (and controversial) conversations, so join Jesse and I today as we dive even deeper into our experiences and how we have adjusted our guidance while respecting our kids’ privacy and autonomy.
Jesse and I share our philosophy that dating should be intentional and mindful, and we have encouraged our kids to view dating as a way to get to know someone with the potential for a serious, long-term relationship, rather than just a casual activity. We discuss how we’ve balanced setting boundaries without being overly controlling, allowing our kids to make their own decisions while we support them through their journeys, having found that this approach not only respects their autonomy but also helps them develop a deeper understanding of themselves and their relationships.
We also talk about the importance of observing someone’s character over time and in various situations. Seeing how someone reacts in different scenarios, such as in competitive sports or when things don’t go their way, can reveal a lot about their true nature, and this can be very important for making informed decisions about whether to pursue a deeper relationship.
In addition to talk about dating, we also share some fun life updates — like our roller coaster Father’s Day, a trip to Mississippi for Silas’ baseball tournament, our new coffee maker, watching the Olympics trials, and a freebie to help you get dinner on the table on busy nights.
In This Episode
[0:35] – Jesse and I are talking more about what we’re learning with walking with our kids through dating and relationships.
[2:13] – Hear all about Jesse’s unexpected Father’s Day and how we narrowly avoided a trip to the ER.
[13:26] – We have enjoyed watching the Olympic trials with our daughter Kierstyn, who is excited about various sports, especially gymnastics.
[15:19] – Hear some listener feedback which includes a request for the audiobook library link.
[16:52] – I share a listener’s observation about the use of “sofa” versus “couch” in an earlier episode. Which do you say?
[19:28] – I have been reading and loving Natalie Runion’s book The House That Jesus Built.
[21:08] – Tune in for an exciting announcement about a freebie with 60 quick meal ideas to replace takeout!
[22:37] – Our views on dating and why we encourage our kids to wait until they are ready to think longterm.
[24:19] – Start conversations about boundaries, respect for our bodies and others, and the beauty of marriage early.
[27:20] – Why we don’t think you should date someone you wouldn’t consider marrying.
[31:00] – Jesse reflects on our daughters appreciating the intentional approach to dating.
[33:31] – Observe people in various contexts to gauge their true character before committing to a relationship.
[35:10] – The other biggest thing is praying daily for our children’s relationships, seeking God’s guidance for clear direction.
Links & Resources
- Crystal Paine
- The Crystal Paine Show – 137. Dating vs. Courtship: Our honest thoughts
- The Crystal Paine Show – 215. Hope and Healing from Church Hurt & Disappointment
- Everyday Reading: How to Get Free Out-Of-State Library Cards
- 60 Meals to Make Instead of Getting Takeout