291. Breaking the Patterns That Break You (with Tori Hope Peterson)
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Tune in this week as I sit down with Tori Hope Petersen, author of the book Breaking the Patterns That Break You: Healing from the Pain of Your Past and Finding Real Hope That Lasts! Tori’s journey is nothing short of inspiring, with her sheer vulnerability being a gift to anyone struggling with the weight of their past. In our conversation, she opens up about growing up in the foster care system, dealing with trauma, and the powerful transformation that began when she truly understood God’s love for her.
Tori shares how having broken free from patterns of self-doubt and striving for approval became so integral to her healing, and we discuss the unspoken lies that we often believe about ourselves and how those beliefs shape the way we live. Tori reflects on how recognizing these patterns, such as the need to prove our worth or seek validation from others, can be the first step toward breaking free and living our true selves. As we explore her new book, Tori also offers up some practical advice on how to stop living to prove ourselves and start living from a place of knowing that we are unconditionally loved.
This episode of the show is for anyone who has struggled and/or is struggling with feelings of unworthiness or been caught in the vicious cycle of seeking validation from others. Tori’s story and wisdom encourages you to stop trying to earn God’s love and instead embrace the truth of your inherent worth, and you are sure to walk away from this episode feeling empowered, loved, and ready to break those harmful patterns once and for all! I hope that you enjoy the episode, and be sure to grab a copy of Tori’s book!
In This Episode
[0:35] – Welcome to the show, Tori Hope Petersen!
[2:34] – Growing up in foster care, Tori struggled with feeling unworthy until she embraced God’s love.
[5:28] – Tori feels that Christians often mistake self-hatred for humility but that honoring God’s creation isn’t prideful.
[6:37] – We learn that Tori’s upbringing taught her that love had to be earned, but she has since learned that it’s freely given.
[9:36] – Therapy, writing, and mentors helped Tori process trauma and overcome fears of repeating abuse.
[12:59] – I discuss someone having asked me recently how to identify and unpack their negative thoughts.
[13:25] – Reading and hearing others’ stories helps Tori reflect, grow, and better understand herself.
[14:45] – Tori’s new book reinterprets familiar ideas to help trauma survivors embrace God’s love.
[17:42] – Understanding God’s love as personal transformed Tori’s relationships and helped break unhealthy cycles.
[20:36] – Tori argues that relying too much on others signals a red flag.
[22:20] – A savior complex can stem from personal wounds rather than pure intentions to help others.
[24:44] – Tori points out that God’s approval frees us from seeking validation.
[27:21] – Tori has learned to assume the best in people, despite past trauma.
[29:24] – For Tori, encouraging her kids’ potential means balancing high expectations while also allowing them individuality.
[32:07] – Hear how an unexpected apology helped Tori appreciate a flawed but ultimately safe and supportive program.
[34:39] – Tori shares that she and her husband prioritize apologizing, believing that it encourages reflection and accountability in others.
[36:05] – Sharing our stories can lead to healing and connection.
[38:28] – We agree that it’s best to read Tori’s book Fostered before Breaking the Patterns That Break You.
Links & Resources
Crystal Paine
Books
Fostered: One Woman’s Powerful Story of Finding Faith and Family through Foster Care by Tori Hope Petersen
Love-Centered Parenting: The No-Fail Guide to Launching Your Kids by Crystal Paine
Social Media
Crystal Paine on Instagram (@moneysavingmom)
Crystal Paine on Instagram (@crystaliscleaning)
Crystal Paine on LinkedIn
Crystal Paine on Twitter
Crystal Paine on Goodreads
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Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group
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